Gather 'round kiddies, I'm gonna tell you a big fat story
I'm old
Old as the hills
Old as fuck
I can't even pay my bills 'cause I'm old
Old as time
Well it won't be long 'fore I run out of mine
I'm old
Old as dirt
I'm a dirty old man in a dirty old shirt
If I can't cut the mustard, baby 
I can always lick the lid
If you know more than me, son
You surely keep it hid
'Cause I'm old
Old as I feel
Said I'm over the hill
Can't get my thrill
Without a little blue pill
I'm old
But I'm wise
Well I'm past my prime, I've done my time
And I've watched it fly
Now I'm old
As old as I look
I said you can't judge a cover, baby, 'til you read the book
Did I mention I'm old?
And I'm bold
The sweeter the wine, baby, or so I've been told
Somewhere in my memory 
I remember havin' fun
Just like Rip Van Winkle, I woke up and it was gone
'Cause I'm old
I'm old enough to know better
Maybe I'm not getting older
I'm gettin' bitter
'Cause I'm old
I'm not gettin' any younger
My soul is diein' of hunger
'Cause I'm old
As in long ago
I've forgotten more, baby, than you'll ever know
Some say I'm lucky just to be alive
There must be more to life than merely to survive
'Cause I'm old