Good morning, dearly beloved, we've gathered here today
To watch two people we know make a big mistake
They'll stand up at the alter and solemnly swear, "I do"
They'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new

Her daddy's in the front row muttering, "Oh no, here we go again
We had a couple dates, now she's three months late
And it's twenty buck a plate, I spent", Oh

Good morning dearly beloved, I'd like to welcome y'all
To see the side-effects of sex and alcohol
Please, bow your heads and join me in a prayer for these two
Who'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new, oh yeah

The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse
As he's putting the ring on her, he's checking out the brides maids
Thinking that he might take the maid of honor's, honor, oh

Welcome, dearly beloved, we are here this afternoon
To throw rice as these two drive down the road to ruin
With cans tied to the bumper and a dragging muffler, too
They'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new

So raise your glass and join me, here's to the bride and groom
They'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new