WELL I'VE A PROBLEM YOU CAN'T SEE THAT HAS THE OLD FOLKS ON THEIR 
KNEES
IT SEEMS THAT IN MY YOUTH A BIG MISTAKE I'VE MADE
I GUESS MY HAIR'S A BIT TOO LONG AND WELL MY MUSIC'S JUST ALL 
WRONG
AND WHEN IT COMES TO PRAISING GOD SOME SIMPLE RULES MUST BE 
OBEYED
THEY SAY NO TALKING IN CHURCH, THEY SAY NO LAUGHING IN CHURCH
JUST SIT UP STRAIGHT AND KEEP YOUR FEET OUT OF THE AISLE
THEY SAY NO CLAPPING IN CHURCH AND NO FEET TAPPING IN CHURCH
WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE HERE BUT THIS IS SERIOUS SO DON'T EVEN CRACK A 
SMILE
BUT THERE'S SO MUCH JOY IN MY LIFE SINCE THE DAY JESUS CAME AND 
TOOK AWAY MY BLUES
WELL EXCUSE ME FRIENDS, MY FAITH WON'T LET ME SIT DOWN
I'VE GOT DANCING ROOM IN MY SUNDAY SHOES
I GUESS I KIND OF UNDERSTAND WHY THEIR RELIGION SEEMS SO BLAND
THEY'VE LET THEIR FAITH SIT FOR SO LONG THAT NOW IT'S STALE
MAYBE IF THEY TAKE A LOOK AT ME THEY'LL SEE HOW GREAT NEW LIFE 
CAN BE
AND THOSE WHO HOLD THEIR BREATH IN CHURCH MIGHT LEARN HOW TO 
EXHALE
THEY SAY NO TALKING IN CHURCH, THEY SAY NO LAUGHING IN CHURCH
JUST SIT UP STRAIGHT AND KEEP YOUR FEET OUT OF THE AISLE
THEY SAY NO CLAPPING IN CHURCH AND NO FEET TAPPING IN CHURCH
WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE HERE BUT THIS IS SERIOUS SO DON'T EVEN CRACK A 
SMILE
THEY SAY NO TALKING IN CHURCH, THEY SAY NO LAUGHING IN CHURCH
JUST SIT UP STRAIGHT AND KEEP YOUR FEET OUT OF THE AISLE
THEY SAY NO CLAPPING IN CHURCH AND NO FEET TAPPING IN CHURCH
WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE HERE BUT THIS IS SERIOUS SO DON'T EVEN CRACK A 
SMILE
SOME MAY WONDER WHY I HAVE TO RAISE UP SUCH A FUSS
IT'S 'CAUSE I SEE THE ENEMY AND I'D SWEAR THAT HE IS US
THEY SAY NO TALKING IN CHURCH, THEY SAY NO LAUGHING IN CHURCH
JUST SIT UP STRAIGHT AND KEEP YOUR FEET OUT OF THE AISLE
THEY SAY NO CLAPPING IN CHURCH AND NO FEET TAPPING IN CHURCH
WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE HERE BUT THIS IS SERIOUS SO DON'T EVEN CRACK A 
SMILE