I took a look at myself

I dropped all my defenses

After fooling myself

For so long



I broke all my habits

I gave up my pretences

I faced all those things

So crazy and wrong



I had reached a point 

Where I could fall no deeper

Right there I knew what to do

Eventually



I know you thought 

I was just running away

But the real escape

I had made years ago

Deep inside of me



Are there just no Forevers in life

Are they all just illusion

Just something we build to protect us

From feeling so lost and lonely



Would it be wiser to be

Happy when things are just good

Instead of yearning for perfection

That we'll never find most likely



That advice I have given

To friends and that so much more

Applied to myself

Came back to my mind



How desperately I must have

Tried to believe

That in my own little world

Things were perfectly right



I lied to myself

I despised myself

I denied myself

But the pain grew stronger



I will lie to myself

I will despise myself

I will deny myself

Not one day longer



Because there is no such thing at all

At least not for you and me