May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real slim shady please stand up? 
I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up? 
We're gonna have a problem here...
{verse 1}
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like pam like tommy just burst in the door
Started whoopin her ass worst than before
They first were dirvorced sold her old furniture (scream)
It's the return of the
Awww wait, no way, your kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he? 
And dr dre said...
Nothing you idiots dr dre's dead he's locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women loved eminem
Chicka chicka chicka slim shady I'm sick of him
Look at him walking around grabing his you-know-what
Flippin' the you-know-who (yea but he's so cute though)
Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on tv and let loose,
But can't, but it's cool for tom green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky u might just give it a little kiss
And that's the messege we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a women's *vagina* is
Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit 4th grade,
They got the discovery channel don't they? 
We ain't nothing but mammals, well some of us cannibals
Who *rip* other people open like canolopes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then theres no reason that a man and another man can't elope (ughh)
But if you feel like I feel I got the antadoite
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus
And it gooooesss
(refrain)
I'm slim shady
Yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't the real slim shady...
Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Cause I'm slim shady
Yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't the real slim shady...
Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
{verse 2}
Will smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so *f---* him and *f---* you too
You think I give a damn about a grammy? 
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
(but slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird? )
Why? so you guys can just lie to get me here? 
So you can sit me here next to britney spears
S--- christina aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to carson daily and fred durst
And hear them argue over who she gave *head* to first
Little *bitch* put me on blast on mtv
(yea he's cute but I think he's married to kim, hehe)
I should download a audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave eminem *head* (scream)
I'm sick of you little golden boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I been sent in here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a *f---* like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me
(refrain)
{verse 3}
I'm like a headtrip to listen to
Cause I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll
And I don't got to be false or sugar coat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
Wheather you like to admit it
I'm better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wanna outkin kids like these albums like
Its funny cuz the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when I'm *hard* jerkin I'm jerking
But this whole bag of viagra isn't working
And every single person is a slim shady lurkin
He could be workin at burger king spitten on your onion rings
Were in the parking lot circling
Screaming I don't give a *f---*
With his windows down and system up
So will the real shady, please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And to be proud to out of your mind and out of control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? 

Ha ha
Guess there's a slim shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up