Original Bad Boy on the case, cover your face
Came in the place blowed, and sprayed Puffy with Mase
I laced the weed with insect repellant, better check the smelly
Eminem starts with E, better check the spelling
with a capital, somebody grab me a Snapple
I got an aspirin capsule trapped in my adam's apple
Somebody dropped me on my head, and I was sure
that my mother did it, but the bitch won't admit it was her
I slit her stomach open with a scalpel when she was six months
and said, "I'm ready now bitch - ain't you feelin these kicks cunt?"
The world ain't ready for me yet, I can tell
I'll probably have a cell next to the furnace in hell
I'm sick of these sperm cells with syphillis germs
and I'm hotter than my dick is, when I piss and it burns
I kick you in the tummy until you sick to your stomach
and vomit so much blood that your clothes stick to you from it
(Yuck!) Hit you in the head with a brick til you plummet
If y'all don't like me, you can suck my dick til you numb it
And all that gibberish you was spittin, you need to kill it
Cause your style is like dyin in my sleep, I don't feel it

Chorus: Eminem

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- you hear me? Ha?
Is fuckin crazy -- hello, hi!
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- do you hear me?
Is fuckin crazy

[Eminem]
I'm ice grillin you, starin you down with a gremlin grin
I'm Eminem, you're a fag in a women's gym
I'm Slim, the Shady is really a fake alias
to save me with in case I get chased by space aliens
A brainiac, with a cranium packed, full of more uranium
than a maniac Saudi Arabian
A highly combustible head, spazmatic
strapped to a Kraftmatic adjustable bed
Laid up in the hospital in critical condition
I flatlined; jumped up and ran from the mortician
High speed, IV full of thai weed
Lookin Chinese, with my knees stuck together like siamese
twins, joined at the groin like lesbians
Uhh, pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pins
I hope God forgives me for my sins -- it probably all depends
on if I keep on killin my girlfriends

Chorus: Eminem

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- you hear me? Ha?
Is fuckin crazy -- listen!!
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- you hear me?
Is fuckin crazy

[Eminem]
Last night I O.D.'d on rush, mushrooms and dust
and got rushed to the hospital to get my system flushed
(Shucks!) I'm an alcoholic and that's all I can say
I call in to work, cause all I do is frolic and play
I swallow grenades, and take about a bottle a day
of Tylenol 3, and talk about how violent I'll be (RRARRRRH)
Give me eleven Excederin my head'll spin
Medicine'll get me revvin like a 747 jet engine
Scratched my balls til I shredded skin
"Doctor, check this rash, look how red it's been"
"It's probably AIDS!" Forget it then
I strike a still pose and hit you with some ill flows
that don't even make sense, like dykes usin dildos
So reach in your billfolds, for ten ducats
and pick up this Slim Shady shit that's on Rawkus
Somethin somethin somethin, somethin I get weeded
My daughter scribbled over that rhyme, I couldn't read it
Damn