Photographs of fancy tricks to get your kicks at sixty-six 
He thinks of all the lips that he licks 
And all the girls that he's going to fix 
She gave a little flirt, gave herself a little cuddle 
But there's no place here for the mini-skirt waddle 
Capital punishment, she's last year's model 
They call her Natasha when she looks like Elsie 
I don't want to go to Chelsea 
Oh no it does not move me 
Even though I've seen the movie 
I don't want to check your pulse 
I don't want nobody else 
I don't want to go to Chelsea 

Everybody's got new orders 
Be a nice girl and kiss the warders 
Now the teacher is away 
All the kids begin to play 

Men come screaming, dressed in white coats 
Shake you very gently by the throat 
One's named Gus, one's named Alfie 
I don't want to go to Chelsea 

Oh no it does not move me 
Even though I've seen the movie 
I don't want to check your pulse 
I don't want nobody else 
I don't want to go to Chelsea 

Photographs of fancy tricks to get your kicks at sixty-six 
He thinks of all the lips that he licks 
And all the girls that he's going to fix 
She gave a little flirt, gave herself a little cuddle 
But there's no place here for the mini-skirt waddle 
Capital punishment, she's last year's model 
They call her Natasha when she looks like Elsie 
I don't want to go to Chelsea 

Oh no it does not move me 
Even though I've seen the movie 
I don't want to check your pulse 
I don't want nobody else 
I don't want to go to Chelsea