Once I saw the galaxies in your Jack and Coke eyes,

And the sacrificial temple where your monster always dies.

Once I wrote a gospel out of every word you say,

And now you're on the front page of the USA Today.

Cutting to the front of the line I find my mind

Is no place to raise a family.

And I was looking all over for you, baby.

You were always right in front of me.

And tonight I'm declaring your love to be a waste of time and money.



Once I raised alpacas with your pet Komodo dragon,

While I was eating cardboard in my father's station wagon.

Once I sold everything I owned to buy you a diamond ring,

And now you're over at CNN sitting down with Larry King.

After 5 bottles of wine my friends opine that I should consider therapy,

But they've clearly never been with you, baby,

They don't know about the things that you've told me,

And tonight I am declaring my life is a joke no longer funny.



All publicity is good publicity

When you sell your conscience in this city

Achieving high elasticity

Shock resistant with electricity