Well it seems I've had a lifetime filled with misery
I remember how it all began
The doctor grabbed my feet, slapped me on the cheek
That's what it takes to make a man
Even as a baby they were pinnin' things on me
Daddy called me mother's little lamb
But you should have seen 'em rave
When I gave the dog a shave
That's what it takes to make a man
They thought I was a genius, when I first went to school
Then I flunked my very first exam
And for all the books I've read
There' s just sawdust in my head
That's what it takes to make a man
Well I finally finished highschool, tried some college too
Then I did a hitch with Uncle Sam
I fought the enemy, sergeants I'll agree
That's what it takes to make a man
Well I went back to my hometown
Where the mayor was my friend
Said he knew a job that I could lend
Well I got that job alright
Cleaned the streets up every night
That's what it takes to make a man
Well I got a new position in a dry good store down town
Bought my gal a golden wedding band
But she up and fled the scene
When it turned her finger green
That's what it takes to make a man
Oh yeah, that's what it takes to make a man