The Intergalactic Laxative

Words & Music by: Donovan Leitch - 1973

Performed by: Donovan

Album: Cosmic Wheels - 1973





I was impressed like everyone,

When man began to fly,

Out of earthly regions,

To planets in the sky.

With total media coverage,

We watched the heros land,

As ceremoniously

They disturbed the cosmic sand.



In awe with admiration,

We listened to the talk.

Such pride felt they,

Such joy to be

Upon the moon to walk.

My romantic vision shattered,

When it was explained to me,

Spacemen wear old diapers

In which they shit and pee.



Oh, the intergalactic laxative,

Will get you from here to there.

Relieve you and believe me, 

Without a worry or care.

If shitting is your problem,

When you're out there in the stars,

Oh, the intergalactic laxative

Will get you from here to Mars.



They don't partake like you and I,

Of beefy burger mush.

Their food is specially prepared

To dissolve into slush.

Absorbed by multi-fibers

In the super diaper suit,

Otherwise the slush would trickle

Down inside the boot.



Oh, the intergalactic laxative,

Will get you from here to there.

Relieve you and believe me, 

Without a worry or care.

If shitting is your problem

When you're out there in the stars,

Oh, the intergalactic laxative

Will get you from here to Mars.



You may well ask now what becomes

Of liquid they consume.

A pipe is led from penis head

To a unit in the room.

The water is recirculated,

Filtered for re-use.

In case of anti-gravity -

Pee gets on the loose.



Oh, the intergalactic laxative,

Will get you from here to there.

Relieve you and believe me, 

Without a worry or care.

If shitting is your problem

When you're out there in the stars,

Oh, the intergalactic laxative

Will get you from here to Mars.



Wherever man has conquered,

On the quest for frontiers new,

(Da da da da)

I'm glad that he's always had to do

The number one and two.

It makes it all so ordinary,

Just like you and me,

To know the greatest heroes,

They had to shit and pee.



The intergalactic laxative

Will get you from here to there,

For cosmic constipation

There's none that can compare.

If shitting is your problem

When you're out there in the stars,

Oh, the intergalactic laxative,

The intergalactic laxative,

The intergalactic laxative,

Will get you from here to Mars.