One, two, three, four!

Fortune has me well in hand, armies 'wait my command
My gold lies in a foreign land buried deep beneath the sand
The angels guide my ev'ry tread, my enemies are sick or dead
But all the victories I've led haven't brought you to my bed

You see, everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won't you tell me what did I do to offend you?

Now the purest race I've bred to be to live in my democracy
And the highest human pedigree awaits the first-born boy, baby
And my face on ev'ry coin engraved, the anarchists are all enslaved
My own flag is forever waved by the grateful people I have saved

You see, everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won't you tell me what did I do to offend you?

Now, no man is beyond my claim when land is seized in the people's name
By evil men who rob and maim, if war is hell, I'm not to blame!
Why, you can't blame me, I'm Heaven's child, I'm the second son of Mary mild
And I'm twice removed from Oscar Wilde, but he didn't mind, why, he just smiled

Yes, and the ocean parts when I walk through and the clouds dissolve and the sky turns blue
I'm held in very great value by everyone I meet but you
'Cause I've used my talents as I could, I've done some bad, I've done some good
I did a whole lot better than they thought I would so, come on and treat me like you should

Because everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won't you tell me what did I do to offend you? Whoo, yeah

Everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won't you tell me what did I do to offend you?

Yeah, everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won't you tell me what did I do to offend you?