You know parents are the same



No matter time nor place



They don't understand that us kids



Are going to make some mistakes



So to you, all the kids all across the land



There's no need to argue



Parents just don't understand



I remember one year



My mom took me school shopping



It was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, and my little sister



All hopped in the car



We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall



My mom started bugging with the clothes she chose



I didn't say nothing at first



I just turned up my nose



She said, "What's wrong? This shirt cost $20"



I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar!"



The next half hour was the same old thing



My mother buying me clothes from 1963



And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate



I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips!



I said, "Mom, what are you doing, you're ruining my rep"



She said, "You're only sixteen, you don't have a rep yet"



I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please"



She said "no, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show"



I said, "This isn't Sha Na Na, come on Mom, I'm not Bowzer



Mom, please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers



But if you don't want to I can live with that but



You gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks"



She wasn't moved - everything stayed the same



Inevitably the first day of school came



I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick



But my mom said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it"



There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax



I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts



And when I walked into school, it was just as I thought



The kids were cracking up laughing at the clothes Mom bought



And those who weren't laughing still had a ball



Because they were pointing and whispering



As I walked down the hall



I got home and told my Mom how my day went



She said, "If they were laughing you don't need the,



"Cause they're not good friends"



For the next six hours I tried to explain to my Mom



That I was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times



So to you all the kids all across the land



There's no need to argue



Parents just don't understand



Oh-kay, here's the situation



My parents went away on a week's vacation and



They left the keys to the brand new Porsche



Would they mind?



Umm, well, of course not



I'll just take it for a little spin



And maybe show it off to a couple of friends



I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood



Well, maybe I shouldn't



Yeah, of course I should



Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot



I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block



That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking



I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking



You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions



I honked my horn just to get her attention



She said, "Was that for me?"



I said, "Yeah"



She said, "Why?"



I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy"



She said, "How do I know you're not sick?



You could be some deranged lunatic"



I said, "C'mon toots - my name is the Prince =



Beside, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?"



She agreed and we were on our way



She was looking very good and so was I, I must say - word



We hit McDonald's, pulled into the drive



We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes



She kicked her shoes off onto the floor



She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on"



She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas



We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast



The sun roof was open , the music was high



And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh



She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far



I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car



We're doing ninety in my Mom's new Porsche



And to make this long story short - short



When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell



I said, "I don't have a license but I drive very well, officer"



I almost had a heart attack that day



Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway



I was arrested, the car was impounded



There was no way for me to avoid being grounded



My parents had to come off from vacation to get me



I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me



My parents walked in



I got my grip, I said, "Ah, Mom, Dad, how was your trip?"



They didn't speak



I said, "I want to plead my case"



But my father just shoved me in the car by my face



That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived



They took turns -



One would beat me while the other one was driving



I can't believe it, I just made a mistake



Well parents are the same no matter time nor place



So to you all the kids all across the land



Take it from me



Parents just don't understand