10 am, and I hit the alarm 

It's been 5 short hours since I tied one on 

And on the way to the kitchen for my morning cup 

I gotta run to the can before my bowels erupt 



Grab my knees and howl like a dawg 

I've got a 12 inch long jalapeño log 

You can keep that Thai, yeah I think I'll pass 

I ain't got a week to nurse my ass!!! 



I just want a normal stool! 

Hey, hey, hey, heinous anus! 



I've been on the throne all day 

I can't face the world in any other way 

Help me out, 

I wanna be someone who 

Doesn't start the morning with a molten poo!!! 



I don't want this screaming hoop!!! 

Hey, hey, hey, heinous anus!