This here's a song about the things you don't find in nature 

This here's a tale about conditions of the head 

At one time I wanted to expand my education but 

Now I'll make more money if I dye my hair instead. 



'Cause I've gotta be more punk, and forget about writing love songs 

And even though I'm a middle class white Canadian 

God knows I've been done wrong 

'Cause I'm a fake punk! I'm a fake punk! 

I'll even use a dirty word, I'll even write a mean song, 

I'll even take a mean picture 

'Cause I've got the hair for it! 



I've always tried to dig myself out of the sewer 

I've always strived to be a little bit more well-read 

But oh no! Here comes that rock press interviewer so, 

I'll just look real tough and say fuck a lot instead 



I'd be alright if I could just hang out with my girlfriend 

I'd be just fine if they would close down all the bars 

And maybe one day I'll join a protest against smoking 

But when it comes to sincere angst you can just 

Leave me the fuck alone!