i hope that the last the page of your 800 page novel is missing

and i hope that it rains if you leave the window down on your red mustang



’cause everyday ought to be a bad day for you



and if you drop your keys i hope there’s a sewer somewhere very nearby

i hope that your team lost; i hope your new girl takes off with a new guy.
(old version: and if you’re out of clean sheets i hope your new girl takes off and it’s clear why)



’cause everyday ought to be a bad day for you



and i would like to be your girlfriend so i could dump you

and i would like to be your garbage man so i would never have to pick up your trash again


maybe you should wonder why your apartment is always so empty

well i hope you get locked out of that apartment and have to call jenny


’cause everyday ought to be a bad day for you



but i’m sorry if it ever is