I need a publicist

'Cause I wanna be famous

I'm tryin' to get my name in the press

And let the world know I'm dangerous

And on the mic, you can't fuck with this

Yeah, I need a publicist





Don't pay attention to these rappers with record deals, spendin' the cheese

I want the world to pay attention to me

South Carolina's prince of peace, 'cause on the piece I don't leave no prints

Blow a hole in your weak defense

Forget that gunplay wordplay

I'm tryin' to get a deal before my 22nd birthday

It falls on a Thursday

Bad press can't hurt me, I'll take the gritty route

Pull a Lil' Kim and walk around with my titty out

At the VMA's, I'd front like I was datin' LisaRaye

But I can't, 'cause I think that she's engaged

Fuck it, I'll drink an E&J with Tina Fey

And do an interview the next day with Rex Hayes

My next phase is to get on Maury

On TV, cryin' with some pitiful story 'bout

How Halle Berry be stalkin' me

And the 12-year-old girl I got caught with last week





How was I supposed to know

She said she was 20

Shoot, I don't card ID, I'm not a bar

I'm tryin' to get famous man, this is hard work









What better way to get my name in the paper

Than to be a mile high on a plane with a razor

Stop, chill, don't be scurred man

'Cause you got the wrong cat, I ain't wearin' a turban

My words can, have my ass up on the front page

Tomatoes thrown at me when I run up on stage

But I remain unfazed

I'm still tryin' to have my face printed on the cover of Blaze

I'm 'bout to give my baby mother a raise

I'll make the hooker happy 'cause she got me eight bookings last week

That's what I call using your head

Addicted to limelight, if I lose it I'm dead

You know? I think I'll fake my own funeral

Or maybe not, because nobody would show

So when they say a word for the dearly departed

I'll hop out the coffin like "yeah, bitch!"

My rap career's started





The last one was a little bit over the top, I admit it

I'm just trying to do whatever it takes though man

I'm trying to be famous out this muthafucka

For real









I'm trying to be hip-hop's next media darling

With VH1 specials on at three in the morning

I'm heeding a warning: my black star's so bright

You gotta wear shades when you see me performin', but

Self-promotion is so hard

I'm sick of stickin' my stickers on Decker Boulevard

I need to hire somebody to book my shows

And help me get exposure 'cause I took my flows

And my beats to the top, man I love this shit

You know? I think I gotta get a publicist

But until then, I'll still be payin' my dues

Signing autographs dressed in a tin-man suit, what





Tin-man suit?

Dang, I hope I don't sound too desperate or nothin'

Yo word up man, I was in the phone book the other day

And I looked up "publicist" in the yellow pages

And I must've dialed the wrong number or somethin'

They was like, "hello, welcome to Spanky's Pizza & Oysters" or somethin'







I need a publicist y'all

For real, I'm just tryin' to get signed

Tryin' to get a deal

For real

D. Swain, one time, let's go