Dane Cook
Dane Cook - Christ Chex lyrics
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I grew up Catholic, Catholic. Every Sunday, every Sunday my dad made us get up and go to mass and you had to get there what? Quarter of five in the morning. Ya know because you wanted good seats. There were so many things to remember to when you got there, there was like little moves. Nobody knew the moves. Nobody knew. Like what was that one? Nobody knew, nobody looked at each other what is this? Try to make it up as you go. It was Peace. Peace is when you would shake the hands of the people around you. And the only reason you knew peace was coming because the priest would say peace five times rapid fire. He'd go, "And the peaceful disciple said 'My peace I leave, my peace I give to you. As we ate Reese's Pieces with the Lord. And he said I have a piece of lint in my peaceful EYE!'" But you know what you were doing while he was doing his little 'peace' rap? You were looking around for the people whose hands you were not going to shake. This was church and you were like 'Naw, f*** that guy.' 'No, here he comes. No peace be with you. I'm all set. Peace be with you--*slaps hand* I said I'm all set, I'm doing my thing. I got a lot of people. PEACE OFF! Peace be with you--don't let go. You do not let go of me!'I just saw Jesus' eyes. And then it was like 'snack time' right in the middle of mass... Yeah, right out of no where the priest will look down and be like, " LETS HAVE SOME YUM YUMSSS... I'VE MADE SNACKKSSS."The crouton-o-Christ. The he was like this and I got mad because he always kept them like this so I used to always want to mess with the priest, y'know. When it was my turn to get in the front of the line, I'd be like, "Ahh *sticks out tongue and holds out hands* Your move holy man... choose wisely." I always wanted to grab the bowl, go home, and add milk. Start your day out the holy way with Christ Chex. It's a miracle in a bowl. Open up the box it's like, "Ahhh !" Little angel flies out. "GOOD MORNING!! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!