Below Average

What is your religion?
Catholic / Jewish / Protestant / Chuck Woolery!
What sort of political beliefs do you have?
Middle of the road / Conservative / Liberal / None!
What sort of people do you feel comfortable with?
Intellectuals / Working people / Outdoor types / None!
What sort of parties do you enjoy?
Loud and lively / Quiet and dignified / All of'em / None!
Are you considered attractive?
Sometimes / Yes, very / I don't know / Never!
What sort of music do you enjoy?
Light classics / Show tunes / Disco / None!
Do you like children?
Yes / Sometimes / I don't know / Never!
Which of the following activities do you enjoy? (and there's eight of'em)
Acting / Sailing / Golf / Volunteer work /
Which of the following do you believe in?
Astrology / ESP / Natural food / None!
What was your favorite subject in high school?
English / Math and science / History / Physical education!
What sort of foods do you enjoy?
French / Chinese / Mexican / Blueberry pigsh*t rolls!
How would you describe your intelligence?
About average / Exceptionally bright / Above average / Below average!

Boots of God

Hey man, I think you better spleet
I'm going to cut off all your leeps
I cut you bad, I cut you deep
Hey man, what school you go to?
Uh, Midvale High
Do you like that school?
No, I think it stinks
Hey man, are you cutting down our school?
Waughahahahaaaah!
I saw you looking at my sister
Oh, no, no
Split!