My teeth are breakin I can't afford to fix them

The nerves are stinging and it looks bad then

They bustin to pieces and I spit em in the sink

Exactly like an Anne Murray song about an ice rink

My teeth are sharp but unlike a shark

I sit on my couch and do nothing in the dark

Shark's don't use floss with flippers too short

Piranah's breed, please abort

If there's a question there is an answer

I don't know what it is when I see her, Alaska

Trevor Shand he wrote some words for this beat an he sung them like

This I turned them down flat

Singin some bullshit about a cheerleader what do I care bout that?

A shark and a tooth and a snowbird to spare

Spread your tiny wings and fly away, dental care



All this talk of underwater life it makes me think

About what ahppens to the toothpaste I spit down the sink

I have never considered myself no Jaques Cousteau

Gums are healthy teeth are cracked where does the toothpaste go?



Who's gonna hold my hand when I piss?

Who's gonna put their hand in the stream?

Who's gonna sweep up all the teeth?

Dentist said my mouth was clean

That was a real nice compliment

As I gave him my last cent

He don't know why they be breakin

Glass of calcium I'm takin



Teeth are breakin out

Teeth fallin out on the floor I'm fukin spent

Good thing I got stock in Polydent