Take off your mink coat, take off your muff

Get on the table and show us your stuff

Right here next to me

I'm a fat old man, sweatin' and huffin'

A gin in my hand and your pretty little muffin

Right here next to me



Just don't feed me with no tube

Or change my dirty diaper

If I'm back at mommy's boob

Call in the frickin' snipers

And just shoot me, baby



Stuff me in the cracks, Stuff me

In the toilet, sweetie, put me in the trash

But be next to me

Send me to my room, hold me down 

And spank me, use the wooden spoon

But be next to me



Just don't feed me with no tube

Or change my dirty diaper

If I'm back at Mommy's boob

Call in the frickin' snipers

And just shoot me, baby



Dip me in the river

You'll never wash my dirt away 

Rip out my liver, baby

But be next to me