Hello, Mr. Fussy 

Hello, Mrs. Nice 

Have you ever shared a bathtub 

Full of beer and ice?

I know you want to 

I know you can 

Put down your children 

And free up your hands



Come on and free up your hands 

Come on and free up your hands



Do you still like to kiss her? 

Do you still hold her hand? 

Would you cheat with her sister? 

Do you march to her band? 

And when you're by yourself 

With a drink in one hand 

Do you break your little rule 

And give yourself the other hand?



C'mon and give yourself a hand 

C'mon and give yourself a hand 

C'mon and give yourself a hand 

C'mon and give yourself a hand

I know your wife's uncle

He's a very nice man 

He's got long clever fingers 

On his lovely pink hands 

Did you give that bad boy 

The back of your hand? 

I know you want to 

I know you can



Give him the back of your hand 

Give him the back of your hand 

Give him the back of your hand 

Give him the back of your hand