Look everyone, he's coming through the doors
BRILLIANT! He didn't even open them!
He's here
Quick rik do the speech

Hey kids, stop snogging and pay attention to me
Coz if you're a wild eyed loner standing at the gates of oblivion
Then hitch a ride with us, cuz we're on the last freedom moped out of nowhere city
And we haven't even told our parents what time we'll be back
So pull on your dancing trousers and get down to the total and utter king of rock'n'roll
CLIFF RICHARD

Got myself a cryin', talkin', sleepin', walkin', livin' doll
Got to do my best to please her just cos she's a livin' doll
Got a rovin' eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
I got the one and only walkin' talkin' livin' doll

O.K guys, ready Viv?
Completely ready when you are Shaky
Neil
Does anybody know where the toilets are
Mike
Does all this money really have to go to charity
Yes it does michael, hi Cliff it's me
Who are you
Great joke your majesty

Got myself a cryin', talkin', sleepin', walkin', livin' doll (livin doll)
Got to do my best to please her just cos she's a livin' doll (livin doll)
I got a rovin' eye and that is why she satisfies my soul (fies my soul) (fies my soul?)
(Yes Vivien it's raunchy)
I got the one and only walkin' talkin' livin' doll
Shut up guys
What does this button do

Take a look at her hair, well it's real
If you don't believe what I say, just feel (Do I know this girl)
I'm gonna lock her up in a trunk so no big hunk
Can steal her away from me (Get down)

Got myself a cryin', talkin', sleepin', walkin', livin' doll
Hey Cliff I've just invented a great new sound
Got to do my best to please her just cos she's a livin' doll (Settle down chaps)
Got a rovin' eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
I got the one and only walkin' talkin' livin' doll

OK daddio lay the next funky bit on me
He means what happens now Cliff
The instrumental break

Great Cliff which instruments do you want us to break
Piano
Violin
Didgereedoo
Vivien's trousers
Rik's head
Yeah ugh ugh Neil's head
Cliffs head
NO NO

Well take a look at her hair, it's real
If you don't believe what I say, just feel
I'm gonna lock her up in a trunk so no big hunk
Can steal her away from me

I still feel locking her up in a trunk is politically unsound
It's only a song Rik
Well I feel sorry for the elephant

Come one, guys!

Got myself a cryin', talkin', sleepin', walkin', livin' doll
Livin' doll
Got to do my best to please her just cos she's a livin' doll (All right guys, harmonies now)
Got a rovin' eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
'Fies my soul
I got the one and only walkin' talkin' livin' doll
Oohhoohhoohh
I got the one and only walkin' talkin' livin' doll

Can I go now
Er yes thanks Cliff, bye
Right kids if you don't buy this record then you're an utter utter utter utter utter ...