I'm the anti-christ
Well sort of not really
It's not big not clever
And I'm quite a reansonable fella
Your friendly uncle good with kids good ol' paternalist pop
good cop bad cop good cop bad cop good cop good cop
I was a wannabe and wannabe don't know what they want to be
I needn't have worried 'cos the man upstairs was looking out for me
God gave me the finger with his free hand
Now I'm his left hand man
Hey punk don't call me Mac
My name is Johnny Trabant

Love me

They call me the Great Pretender
John Noakes was my mentor
I'm a walking talking ides man
Here's one I prepared earlier
Stretch armstrong and his rubber band
Edwin Meese and the sex-police
Pleae Mr.Postman post-post-modern deliver us from Elvis
Be-bop-a-lu-la my baby-baby does good culture yes
Now I found what I'm looking for I find myself in another fine mess
Someone muddied my waters
I lost my way but now I see
I o.d'd on irony
I'll rediscover god for the next LP

Love me

Bend me shape me anywhere you want me whatever you want I'll be     your hearts desire
Black and cuddly
You want love me
Pop me corc watch me pop like bubbly
Hot or not you've got to use what you've got
Where's the weak spot
Let me take a shot
What a turn on
Does it feel lovely
Love me love me
Johnny Pretenious moi
The ghost of Eamonn Andrews smiling watching over me
I love it let's shot it "Jhonny Trabba the movie"
I paid my dues I sung the blues
I've done pain and personal hell
Pass me the phone I got calls to make
This will sell and sell
I'm as "Bob Roberts" to your Phil Ochs
Talking political

So love me
love me
love me
I'm a liberal
love me
freeze-frame
love me