Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart!

(Jeff) Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.

Well you cleaned up! Whadya git?



Five flannel shirts

Four big mud tires

Three shotgun shells

Two hunting dogs

... And some parts to a Mustang GT.



Hey Bubba, you got gypped -- there's 12 days to Christmas.

(Jeff) I know that, I got it covered. Look over in the corner.

That's yours too?

Yea!



Chorus:

Twelve-pack of Bud

Eleven Wrastling tickets

Ten o' Copenhagen

Nine years probation

Eight table dancers

Seven packs of Redman

Six cans of Spam

Five flannel shirts

Four big mud tires

Three shotgun shells

Two hunting dogs

... And some parts to a Mustang GT.



Man, this ain't normal Christmas presents!

No, they're redneck gifts!

Redneck gifts?

Yea, you know, like

if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishing lures.

Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells"

Perhaps if you think "The Nutcracker" is something you did off a high-dive.

Or, if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights.

Or, if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus.



What's wrong with that?

I didn't say anything wrong with it...

It's hard to beat...



Chorus:

Twelve-pack of Bud

Eleven Wrastling tickets

Ten o' Copenhagen

Nine years probation

Eight table dancers

Seven packs of Redman

Six cans of Spam

Five flannel shirts

Four big mud tires

Three shotgun shells

Two hunting dogs

... And some parts to a Mustang GT.



Well, you can't really consider it a Christmas

'less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama.

You're not listenin' to me!

Get the car key outta your ear.

That's where the nine years probation comes in...

I'm gonna do it for ya again.

Now listen...



Chorus:

Twelve-pack of Bud

Eleven Wrastling tickets

Ten o' Copenhagen

Nine years probation

Eight table dancers

Seven packs of Redman

Six cans of Spam

Five flannel shirts

Four big mud tires

Three shotgun shells

Two hunting dogs

... And some parts to a Mustang GT.