With Gwen and I inseperatable from rag dolls through brassieres
 Then Gwen began to bore me with her giggles and her fears
 The day the Carters moved away, I had to fake my tears
 I told new friends Gwen Carter had become a silly pest
 And then I found I missed her more than I'd ever have guessed

 Grandma used to nag at me to straighten up my spine
 To act respectful and read good books
 To take care of what was mine
 I hated being criticized and asking her permission
 So what if her advise was wise, It always hurt to listen
 I didn't cry when Granny died, she made me so depressed
 And then I found I missed her more than I'd ever have guessed

 You used to make me moan in bed, but that can't be enough
 My friends complained your jokes were crude,
 Your manners were too rough
 Don't know just what I wanted, but I know I wanted more
 Someone smooth, presentable, to blend with my decor
 And now at night I think of how you grinned when you undressed
 And I find I miss you more than I'd ever have guessed