If I had a million ducats (If I had a million ducats)
I'd buy you a keep (I would buy you a keep)
If I had a million ducats (If I had a million ducats)
I'd buy you furniture for your keep (Like a Louis the 
XIV or an armoire)
If I had a million ducats (If I had a million ducats)
I'd buy you a big coach (with all the pretty with 
fringe on the top)
If I had a million ducats I'd buy your love. 

If I had a million ducats (We wouldn't have to hunt for 
our game)
If I had a million ducats (We'd hunt for sport cuz it's 
not the same)
If I had a million ducats (We'd have peasants grow food 
all around the keep)
And we'd have a big garden. (A maze garden)
With high protein-enriched food (like lentils)
And bambi and thumper playing in it.

If I had a million ducats (If I had a million ducats)
I'd buy you a fur cloak But not a woolen cloaks. That's 
cruel
If I had a million ducats (If I had a million ducats)
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a dragon or a 
leviathan)
If I had a million ducats (if I had a million ducats)
I'd buy a saint's remains (And all those crazy lucky 
saint's bones)

If I had a million ducats (We wouldn't have to walk to 
the faire)
If I had a million ducats (We'd hire a knight carry us 
there)
If I had a million ducats (We wouldn't have to get our 
feel all dirty)
We wouldn't have to walk in the filth.
(We'd have people throw cloaks on the ground like for 
Sir Walter Raleigh)
Or even better, peasants (on all fours)

If I had a million ducats (If I had a million ducats)
I'd be you a bed (But not bed of nails. That's cruel)
If I had a million ducats (If I had a million ducats)
I'd buy you some art (a Michaelangelo or Donatello)
If I had a million ducats (If I had a million ducats)
I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a 
monkey?) 

If I had a million ducats, If I had a million ducats
If I had a million ducats, If I had a million ducats
We'd be kings.

KEY G

verse:
G D C
G D C
G D C
G D D

chorus:
C D G
E7 C

Background: Medieval parody of Barenaked Ladies song 
"If I Had A $1000000". Original Words and Music by 
Steven Page & Ed Robertson. One of our most popular 
live songs.