It was in the march of the winter
I turned seventeen
that I bought those pills
I thought I would need
and I wrote a letter to my family
said it’s not your fault
and you’ve been good to me
just lately I’ve been feeling
like I don’t belong
like the ground is not mine to walk upon
and I’ve heard that music
echo through the house
where my grandmother drank by herself
and I sat watching a flower
as it was withering
I was embarrased by its honesty
so I’d prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
not this fucking wreck
that’s taken its place
So please forgive what I have done
no you can’t stay mad at the setting sun
cause we all get tired I mean eventually
and there’s nothing left to do but sleep
But spring came bearing sunlight
those persuasive rays
so I gave myself a few more days
my salvation it came, quite suddenly
when Justin spoke very plainly
he said – Of course it’s your decision
but just so you know
if you decide to leave
soon I will follow -
I wrote this for a baby
who has yet to be born
my brother’s first child
I hope that womb’s not too warm
cause it’s cold out here
and it’ll be quite a shock
to breathe this air
to discover loss
so I’d like to make some changes
before you arrive
so when your new eyes meet mine
they won’t see no lies
just love, just love.
I will be pure
no, no, I know I will be pure
like snow, like gold
like snow, like gold