Well I wake up this morning I rolled out of bed 
I felt like a dog who`s been kicked in the head 
Checked out my mail there was letter that read 
Love for sale, love for sale 

I picked up the phone I called everyone I could 
I let my fingers do the walking through the telephone book 
You can`t catch a fish if you ain`t got the hook 
Love for sale, love for sale 

Send up a signal throw me a line 
Somebody explain " this funny Valentine" 
It might not be signal but it sure ain`t a crime 
I`m one step from crazy and two steps behind 

I called Lt. Columbo from my TV set 
I`ve tried the Dating Game I haven`t found her yet 
I`m hoping that she`s looking like a Penthouse Pet 
Love for sale, love for sale 

Solo 

We`ve been living together 3 years, 
2 hours, 20 minutes maybe four houndred beers 
You can`t shop for love when you`re shopping at, Sears 
Love for sale, love for sale 

I guess I`ve learnt my lesson it was easy to see 
My old lady she played this joke on me 
I never looked where I forgot it would be 
Love for sale, love for sale