I wanna be a lawyer
Doctor or professor
A member of the UMC

I want an air conditioner
Cottage on the river
And all the money I can see

I wanna drive a Lincoln
Spend my evenings drinking
The very best Burgandy

I want a yacht for sailing
Private eye for tailing
My wife if she's a bit too free, oh yeah

I've been told ever since  I was a boy, that's what one ought to be
A part of the UMC

I want a pool to swim in
Fancy suits to dress in
Some stock in GM and GE

An office in the city
Secretary pretty
Who'll take dictation on my knee

I want a paid vacation
Don't want to have to ration
A thing with anyone but me

And if there's war or feminine
Promise I'll examine
The details if they're on TV

I'll pretend to be liberal but I'll still support the GOP
As part of the UMC

I wanna be a lawyer
Doctor or professor
A member of the UMC