This is a public warning
Be careful when you're out
We're having freaky weather
There's a lot of it about
On the terraces he's swinging
He's a monkey on the roof
You've seen him on the telly
So let me introduce

T.O.P.M.A.N
He's naughty by nature
T.O.P.M.A.N.
On doubles and chasers
T.O.P.M.A.N.
He's a little boy racer
T.O.P.M.A.N.
Shooting guns on the high street of love

In a crowd it's hard to spot him
But anonymity can cost
He's never cheap or cheerful
He's Hugo and he's Boss
He's riding through the desert
On a Camel Light
And on a magic carpet
He'll fly away tonight
Open sesame..

T.O.P.M.A.N.
He sees her in double
Then pukes on the pavement
Likes her all clean and shaven
Shooting guns on the high street of love