Gary Golf stops all the clocks
With night nurse slippers and socks
He tries to keep his thoughts clean
By washing with Listerine
A little peck on the cheek
In dazzed pyjamas and sheets
Keep the light on I'm not tired
I want to read my Dick Francis
Dirty fraulines and nasty nazis

CHORUS:
La la la la, la la la la, there are no monsters in me (x2)

Car alarms letting off steam
Gary hears them in his dreams
Panic outside is seeping in
Just easy listening to him
Turns in his sleep and smiles to himself
There are no monsters in me
Cause Gary's out on the green
No growing pains for him
Cause Gary Golf ball eyes is not in

REPEAT CHORUS