Mr. Bourbon and Coke laughs
At all of my jokes when he's drinking
Mr. Martini stares and he
Never shares what he's thinking.

Miss Sexy Red Wine tells me at closing time
That she'll phone me
Mr. Whiskey Shot Glass watches hookers
Walk past when he's lonely.

I'm a bartender
I pour the drinkers
Laugh with the sinners
And cry with the saints
And even if they don't remember
I try to make their bar tender.

Mr. Never Does Tip says
That none of his kids ever call home
Mrs. Chews On Her Lip tells someone
She's at work on her cell phone.

Mrs. Husband Just Died always
Breaks down and cries on the weekends
Just another long night in a
Bartender's life with some good friends.

I'm a bartender
I pour the drinkers
Laugh with the sinners
And cry with the saints
And even if they don't remember
I try to make their bar tender.

And even if they don't remember
I try to make their bar tender...