There ought to be a town out there,

Named for how I feel.

Yeah I could be the mayor down there,

And say welcome to Sorryville.

It won't be on a map nowhere,

You might say that it doesn't exist,

But if you make enough wrong turns

It'd be hard to miss.



There ought to be a bridge somewhere

They could dedicate to me.

I'd probably come to the ceremony

With a can of gasoline;

Walk on over to the other side

And there I'd light a match

And sit and stare through the smoke and the flames

Wonderin' how I'm ever gonna get back.



Why do I do the things I do?

Was I born this way? Am I a self-made fool?

I shoot the lights and curse the dark;

I need your love but I break your heart;

And I know the words that'll bring you back,

But I don't say nothin' as I watch you pack.

I had to work to be the jerk I've come to be;

It ain't easy bein' me.



Ought to be a side show act for freaks like me;

Yeah I could be the star of the show

With my name on the marquee.

In a room with a big red button that says "Do Not Touch,"

And twice a day I'd mash it down

And you could watch me self-destruct.



Why do I do the things I do?

Was I born this way? Am I a self-made fool?

I shoot the lights and curse the dark;

I need your love but I break your heart;

And I know the words that'll bring you back,

But I don't say nothin' as I watch you pack.

I had to work to be the jerk I've come to be;

It ain't easy bein' me.