It's 1986 I'm in the first grade

I'm workin really hard to get Mario laid

I gotta save the Princess 

so he can get the pussy

Believe me, Mario would get that ass 

so fuck Luigi

Mario really wants to get her in bed

So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head

He just wants sex, so forget the wedding bells

Jumpin on little mushrooms and turtle shells

Droppin down green pipes and secret passage ways

Makin his move to the end 

where the final castle lays

Eat a magic mushroom grow a little higher

Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire

All these creatures that attack him

Cut Mario slack

Oh shit hold on I'll be right back

I'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer

It's gotta be hard to get laid if you're a plumber

That's why I'm gonna work extra hard for my man

And get him to the end 

so he can stop using his hand

Mario doesn't wanna get hit he'll shrink

Princess won't fuck a little kid, I think

So stay grown and attend to your own

And eventually the Princess will attend to your bone



Save the Princess quick

Because she wants a dick

And if you let her free

You get the pussy



Bowser's trying to get head right now from the Princess

But if it's up to me that shit'll stop this instance

Cloud people throwin little spike animals

Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals

I heard nobody yet runnin the Princess's oven

And Mario always says "Virgins, I love em'"

I hate the Koopa Troopas so I'm gonna run up

And jump on the back of their shells till I get one-up

I'm gonna keep playin and I'm never gonna quit

Cause some kid in school told me 

you could see the Princess tits

I wanna beat it before any of my friends do

So I can say I put pussy upon Mario's menu

At the end of each level I jump and get the flag

And say to myself "Another castle in the bag"

I hope Bowser's ready cause he's in for a ride

And Mario's serious when it comes to homicide

The Princess is a freak even though she has class

Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass

I hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly

And I hate platforms that fall out from below me

It's all worth while just to see Mario smile

Standin next to the Princess' butt naked profile

That's why it's my crusade to get Mario laid

Super Mario Brothers best game ever made