Michael J. Fox was a household name 

In 1985 

And what about young Mallory 

And all of the Family Ties? 

I hear they all robbed liquor stores 

And are in jail now for life 



Kirk Cameron had Growing Pains 

Sex symbol of the year 

Problem solved so squeaky clean 

In half an hour clear 

I hear he's been washing dishes 

For the last couple of years 



Laughter tracks and '80s stars 

Predictable jokes 

I don't have to tell you what happened 

To the kids from Diff'rent Strokes 



Punky Brewster's 15 minutes 

Lasted for years before it got old 

You're never quite so cute 

And I should know 

Once puberty takes its toll 



And no one knows their whereabouts 

What they do or what they did 

Chew 'em up and spit 'em out 

Like all of the Cosby kids 



It's the toughest game and the hardest time 

It's the longest walk on the thinnest line 

Its sad and true that they love then kill 

Where do they go when they die? 

To the big '80s sitcom in the sky 

Michael J Fox was a household name 

In 1985