Date: Sat, 14 Mar 1998 23:30:37 -0500
From: "Brian j. dawson" 
Subject: TAB: Retards MAke Good Friends by Beer Softened Stool

transcribed by dawsonbr@zebu.cvm.msu.edu 
"Retards Make Good Friends"
By Beer Softened Stool
from the "The Brown Album"

The song is pretty easy...3 cord punk...although any correction is
appreciated.
I saw these guys back up the Meatmen at Harpos in Detroit...this was
their opening song. Brian the guitar play and Bob the bass player basically
play the same notes.

The opening riff (Riff 1)


e-------------------------------------------
B-------------------------------------------
G----------------------------------------7--
D--------2--------2--------2--------2----7--
A--------2--------2--------2--------2----5--
E--3p-0--0--3p-0--0--3p-0--0--3p-0--0-------

Repeat the riff 4 x

[E]Hey mama tell you what I say
[E]Said I'm lookin' for a friend today
[E]lookin for a friend I can trust
[E]he's gotta ride in a short school bus

{chorus}
[D]Retards.....[D]Make [D#]Good [E]Friends!
[D]Retards.....[D]Make [D#]Good [E]Friends!
[D]Retards.....[D]Make [D#]Good [E]Friends!

[E]My friend Marc wears a hockey helmet
[E]He shits his pants but he can't help it
[E]Out in public he beats his dick
[E]I use retards to pick up chicks

{chorus}

{bridge}

(lots of groaning and drooling)
[A][B][C][D]
[A][B][C][D][E]

solo over verse
{chorus} 2x