There`s a destination a little up the road
From the habitations and the towns we know
A place we saw the lights turn low
The jig-saw jazz and the get-fresh flow
Pulling out jives and jamboree handouts
  Two turntables and a microphone
  Bottles and cans just clap your hands just clap your hands
Where it`s at!
  I got two turntables and a microphone
  Where it`s at!
  I got two turntables and a microphone
  Where it`s at!
  I got two turntables and a microphone
  Where it`s at!
  [robot vocal effect] I got two turntables and a microphone
(take me home with my elevator bones!)
  (that was a good drum break)
Pick yourself up off the side of the road
  With your elevator bones and your whip-flash tones
  Members only hyponotizers
  Move through the room like ambulance drivers
  Shine your shoes with your microphone blues
  Hirsutes with your parachute fruits
  Passing the dutchie from coast to coast
  Like my man Gary Wilson rocks the most
Where it`s at!
  I got two turntables and a microphone
  Where it`s at!
  I got two turntables and a microphone
(Man [spoken]: "What about those who swing both ways? AC-DC`s?)
Two turntables and a microphone
  Two turntables and a microphone
  Two turntables and a microphone
  Two turntables and a microphone
  Two turntables and a microphone
  Two turntables and a microphone
Where it`s at!
  I got two turntables and a microphone
  Where it`s at!
  I got two turntables and a microphone
Oh, dear me. Make-out City`s a two-horse town
  (girl [spoken]: "That`s beautiful, Dad.")
(Got my microphone....)
  There`s a destination a little up the road
  From the habitations and the towns we know
  A place we saw the lights turn low
  The jig-saw jazz and the get-fresh flow
Pulling out jives and jamboree handouts
  Two turntables and a microphone
  Bottles and cans and just clap your hands 
  And just clap your hands
Where it`s at!
  I got two turntables and a microphone
  Where it`s at!
  I got two turntables and a microphone
I got plastic on my mind
  (make it out, baby)
  yeah, yeah, yeah
  let`s make it out, baby
  yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
  (scream)
  telephone plastic baby
  ahh, so good
  oh, yeah
  let`s play good 
  ow ow ow ow ow