The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick
The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard
I was gettin' kinda dizzy eatin' all the lard
There was aphids on the lettuce an' I ate every one
An' after I was done the salsa melted off my tongue
Pieces of tortilla got stuck in my throat
An' the stains on my clothes burned a hole through my coat
My stomach was a-tremblin' and I broke out in a rash
I was so dry and thirsty and I didn't have no cash
So I went and found a hose, tore off all my clothes
Turned on the water and it shot right up my nose
Some old lady came along and she thought I was a freak
So she beat me with a handbag till I could hardly speak
I was lying there naked, my body badly bruised
In a pool of my own blood, unconscious and confused
Well, the cops came and got me and threw me in their van
And I woke up on the ceiling and I couldn't find my hand
They took me to the judge, his eyes a-glowin' red
The courtroom was filled with witches and the dead
Well, the sheriff was a hellhound with fangs and claws
The prisoners were tied up and chained to the walls
The air was gettin' thick; the smoke was gettin' thicker
The judge read the verdict: said, "Cut off his head!"
Well, they placed me on the altar, and they raised up the axe
My head was about to explode when I noticed the Marshall stacks
I noticed all the smoke machines, cameras and the lights
Some guy with a microphone, runnin' around dancin' in tights
And I noticed the crew and the band playin' down below
And I realized I was in a rock video

So I went and joined the band
And I went out on tour
And I smoked a lot of heroin
And I passed out in manure
I made out with the groupies
Come on here
Started fires backstage
Oh, yeah, started 'em all
Made a lot of money
Oh, yeah, I'm makin' it
And I gave it all away
Give it all to me
Well, the band got killed
Ah, bunch of losers
So I started a solo career
Aha, yeah
And I won all the awards
Get 'em all now
And I drank all the beer
Drink it all up; get funky
I opened up a taco stand
Aha
Just to smell the smell
Oho
Cookin' with the devil
fryin' down in hell