Relatively speaking
Life has been good to me
There's cash flow in my pocket
And the girlies come regularly
I don't like to shit in public
Even though the smell doesn't bother me
And the only problem is my friends
A bag called colostomy

I have a colostomy bag
It's underneath my jeans
I get real mad when it starts to sag
Cause then you know there's more to me

I tried to call Miss Lucille Ball
Cause I know she'd give me clemency
But the newspaper said
I love lucy is dead
So it's just me and my colostomy

Woohoo

You gotta pretty mouth boy
Squeal like a bitch
Squeal like a bitch boy