He's not a well man 
And he's getting worse 
If he had any sense 
He'd be in bed with a graduate nurse 
A couple of big specialists 
High priced consultation 
And outside waiting in the hall 
Assorted logic small poor relations 
His aches have got aches 
His pains are in pain 
And what sizzles and frizzles 
Inside there all the smartest professors could not explain 
-They wouldn't know what? 
Be quick as you can 
I might haven't got 
You're dealing with not (cough!) 
With not a well man 
I'm not a well man 
Get worse every year 
All the medical doctors 
Give one look 
They're amazed I'm still here 
I should own a pharmacy 
For just my prescriptions 
My bills for only pills alone 
Would chill you to the bone 
With conniptions 
What I have been through 
No man could recite 
It would make your heart break 
And play a story that only 
Turn yet it maybe could write 
A tragical plot 
How can I plan? 
I might haven't got 
You're dealing with not (cough!) 
With not a well man 
I'm not a well man