Hey... hee-eey, he-ey, hey, hee-eey... hey, hey... Here we go. Ahem.

Hey, Mr Bassman, what is your name?
My name is Colin Grigson

Yeah!

And playing the bass guitar is my game
So let's play the bass guitar, NOW!

Okay, can you turn that off please, Brian, we'll get on with the next one.

I've got a problem, Brian...

Den, you're supposed to do the horrid laughing there.

It's the size of his penis.

Every time I sing "Eat my brain"...

Den, can you hear me?

I've had you switched off, Colin.

Den!

...I sing it so hard that my rectum seems to prolapse.

Can we get a nappy? Have we got a nappy roadie?

Just someone to take all the shit.

How old are you, Den?

Thirty-eight. No, oh, sorry, seventeen.

Hey, Mr Bassman...

Hey, Mr Bassman, play the fucking bass!

So, is it your birthday?

Yes, it is, today.

Happy birthday to you...

Thanks.

Happy bir.... how old are you, then?

Er... Well, er...

'Cause Den is seventeen! (Laughs)

Is he?

I'm sixteen and a half! (More laughter) I can't live this lie anymore. I'm thirty-three
and proud of it!

La...

...ger.

Hey, Mr Bassman...

Hey, Mr Bassman! Get the fucking night bus home!