There's a backyard show where everybody goes ‘cause everybody knows at this masquerade
They wear strange costumes and heave water balloons and one kid's dressed up like a deviled egg
That's when I say, “ What's this? There's something that I've missed there ain't nothing like this back in Upstate”
But “When in Louisville,” they say, “join the crazy ballet”
So with blazing waterguns I join the fray

Yes I learned on that day what local flavor means
With a dinner made from dumpsters on Kentucky streets
You won't learn anything tied up in restaurant chains
Why bother traveling if it all just tastes the same?

On the guidebook page a travel-weary sage is sharing the best secrets from her latest trek
Then the tourists come and money builds it up and pretty soon the place is just a wreck
But when I hit the road I want pie a la mode from a cafe where they don't wear uniforms
Where the salt of the earth season their hometown turf with art that you can't find in any store

Yes I know there's nothing new out on the interstate
And a journey's pointless if the asphalt mediates
You won't find anything if you're tied with retail chains
Why bother traveling if it all just looks the same

There's a warehouse show out in New Mexico and films are being screened up on a Brooklyn roof
Basement galleries in Knoxville, Tennessee and Tallahassee games under the moon
So will you come with me to either shining sea to cleanse the monoculture from our souls?
Then we'll roam town to town listening for any sound that can tell us they're having a show
So raise a glass of your sweat to acknowledge the debt that we owe to our most gracious hosts