You ain't Dolly
And you ain't Porter
She's a little bit fuller
And you're a whole lot shorter
Let's dance all night
And fill the jukebox full of quarters
'Cause you ain't Dolly
No, and you ain't Porter

Well, I noticed you right off the bat in those cowboy boots
Who couldn't help but see you in that rhinestone suit
That's 'cause I'm the reigning queen of karaoke night
Well, if I get drunk enough to sing, hell, I just might
Hey now, don't you worry, cowboy, 'cause I'll get you through
We'll sing a cheating song just like they used to do

'Cause you ain't Dolly
And you ain't Porter
She's a little bit fuller
Yeah, but you're a whole lot shorter
Let's drink all night
And fill the jukebox full of quarters
'Cause you ain't Dolly
And you ain't Porter

You'll probably see me country singing on 'The Voice' someday
Yeah, and I'm the guy they wrote about in '50 Shades of Grey'
Why don't you come on back to my place and you can have your way?
Well baby, that sounds tempting, but I just can't stay
Oh, we won first prize, cowboy, let's just split the dough
Honey, I will always love you, but we'll never know

'Cause you ain't Dolly
And you ain't Porter
She's a little bit fuller
Yeah, and you're a whole lot shorter
We danced all night and filled the jukebox full of quarters
'Cause you ain't Dolly
And you ain't Porter, no
No, you ain't Dolly
And you ain't Porter