There was an old farmer 
Who lived on a rock 
He sat in the meadow 
Just shaking his 

Fist at some boys 
Who were down by the crick 
Their feet in the water 
Their hands on their 

Marbles and playthings 
And at half past four 
There came a young lady 
She looked like a 

Pretty young creature 
She sat on the grass 
She pulled up her dress 
And she showed them her 

Ruffles and laces 
And white fluffy duck 
She said she was learning 
A new way to 

Bring up her children 
So they would not spit 
While the boys in the barnyard 
Were shoveling 

Refuse and litter 
From yesterday's hunt 
Was rubbing her 

Eyes at the fellow 
Down by the dock 
He looked like a man 
With a sizable 

Home in the country 
With a big fence out front 
And if he asked her politely 
She'd show him her 

Little pet dog 
Who was subject to fits 
And maybe she'd let him 
Grab hold of her 

Small tender hand 
With a movement so quick 
And then she'd bend over 
And suck on his 

Candy, so tasty 
Made of butterscotch 
And then he'd spread whipped cream 
All over her 

Cookies that she had 
Left out on her shelf 
If you think this is dirty 
You can go fuck yourself!