Let me tell you a story about Scary Ned 

Scariest guy to ever wet a bed 

He had hands on his arms 

And eyes on his head 



But they weren't his 

He'd go down to the market 

And try to scare the fish 

He said that they bothered him 



They weren't his favourite dish 

Then he'd go down to the highway 

And pretend that he was dead 

That was just the way he was 



Creepy, Scary Ned 

Oooooohhh, Scary Ned. 

Ned loved Hallowe'en 

Cuz he didn't need a mask 



He'd steal the children's candy 

And he didn't even ask 

He'd sit right down in front of them 

And then start to eat 



And tell them they were better off 

That stuff can rot your teeth 

Ooooooohhh, oooooooohh, Scary Ned. 

A strange glow would come 



From his place late into the night 

He'd watch TV 'til the dawn 

And you know that that ain't right 

And if he started to get tired he'd 



Put sauerkraut on his head 

That's just the kind of guy he was 

Good old Scary Ned 

oooooohhh, ooooooohh, ooooooohh Scary Ned. 



He had a face his mother 

Didn't even love 

When people saw him on the street 

They often said, "uuughh" 



And sometimes late at night 

He'd walk alone 

He'd be reciting stuff 

Bad sounding stuff 



Icky awful stuff 

But when you got to know him 

He weren't so bad. 

Oooooohhh, Scary Ned. 



Oooooohhh, oooooohhh, oooooohhh, Scary Ned 



*Spoken* 

He's pretty scary, 

Scary Ned. 

Really Scary, 

Scary Ned 



Scary, 

Hense the name: 

Scary Ned 



Uh, I saw him yestersday, 

said "Hi" 

I got scared. 

'Cause he's scary Ned