One day I sang an aria 

that caused a hernia 

it was a massive bulge 

to the doctor I divulged 

that I still had to play 

though it caused me massive pain 

I wont throw in the towel 

just please hold in my bowels 



I love my hernia belt 

I love my hernia belt 

it'll keep my guts inside me 

til the end of the show 



I've got a little friend down there (not that one) 

a different little friend down there 

a better one you can't find 

to hold in your intestines 

a high fashion wrap 

that hits beneath the belt 

I don't cause a fuss 

in velcro I do trust 



I love my hernia belt 

I love my hernia belt 

it'll keep my guts inside me until 

I have my surgery 



what are they gonna shave 

what are they gonna save 

when they fix my hernia 

hope the doctor doesnt slip 

when he cuts into my skin 

I just want to piss in one direction! 



now I love my hernia repair 

I love my hernia repair 

it'll kep my guts inside me for the rest of my life