by Andy Brickman


 Now Railroad Bill was a hard living man
 He used to take his women two at a time
 And everyone agreed he was the badest engineer
 That ever driven down the Santa Fe line
 His name was known from the folks back home
 To the tippy top of telegraph hill
 And all the little boys when they were sneaking cigarettes
 They used to dream about the Railroad Bill

 Well one day Bill was walking along
 And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree
 When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a ladder
 To set that kitty cat free
 Bill said no, ain't gonna do it
 Ain't gonna climb up no tree
 This is a stupid stupid song and no folk singer
 Gonna make a fool outa me

 I said one day Bill was walking along
 And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree
 When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a ladder
 To set that kitty cat free
 Bill said no, ain't gonna do it
 Ain't gonna do what you said
 This is a stupid stupid song and as far as I'm concerned
 That cat can stay there till it's dead

 I said wait a minute Bill, you can't argue with me
 For God's sake I just made you up
 I got the pen in my hand, I want you up in that tree
 I want that cat unstuck
 Bill said no, I hate cats
 	 ain't gonna climb for no cat
 He said why don'tyou have me save a beautiful girl
 Who's been tied down to the railroad tracks?