Excuse me 

If I don't get up

Excuse me 

If I'm an unwed mother

Excuse me 

If I don't have a job

Excuse me 

If I'm a gap-toothed woman


Excuse me 

If I don't stink of Chanel No. 5 

And I don't drink champagne and I loathe caviar

Excuse me 

If I get bored easily when men start talking about their jobs 

And their money 

And their ex-wives and ex-girlfriends

And their trouble with their mothers and their bosses

And their alimony payments and their goddamned visitation rights


Excuse me 

If I don't have a boyfriend and I don't want a boyfriend 

And I don't get wet when foolish men touch me 

And invite me into the back seat of their expensive cars

Excuse me 

If I'm not an ordinary girl or an average girl or like the girl you imagine next door

And I like the color black and naugahyde that is black and whips and chains and use coffee filters for toilet paper when I run out of toilet paper

And White-Out for nail polish because I like it

Excuse me!

Excuse me?


Excuse me 

If I don't eat meat 

And I'm against cruelty to animals 

And I'm anti-vivisection 

And I eat ice cream with nuts from the rainforest 

Because I support the rainforest

Excuse me 

If I scare you by the way I dress 

And by my direct language that's never used in the universities or your senile boardrooms 

Because I'm a product of the '90s

I'm a woman of the '90s

I'm my own person and I'm not a victim 

And I've risen above the garbage heap I was born in 

And I look down on you who've never seen a trashcan in your life 

And I don't need your approval or applause


Just excuse me

Excuse me!

Excuse me


Excuse