They pose symmetrical 

Scattered through the Echo Hall 

Works of art in pensive phase 

With the worldy critics gaze 

And there's a special one 

Another convert to the throng 

And maybe in her wildest dreams she is a human 

But anyone with brains can see she is the new one 



The artist uses short brush strokes just like the master 

Wave the finished product in the air to dry it faster 

Then they spray themselves with anti-tarnish ultragloss 

It reduces flaking and this cramps(?) would come 

WIth hanging on the cross 



How to be a Happy Statue 

Five easy tips in our next issue 

Youmight have thought all hope was lost 

But now the chance is yours - and for a reasonable cost 



She does her face in Cubist fashion like the others 

Tonight the curator protects them with blue covers 

And what's the point of looking pretty with no audience? 

And won't you find it sad that beauty's based on inexperience? 



And as for her we heard she had a little accident 

Someonetipped her over and her face received a fatal dent 

So it's all over because who likes imperfection? 

Her only hope is that it might become a fashion 



See only certainty 

Bargain hunting destiny 

Maybe she'll redeem herself with mightiness from off the shelf 

Thus concludes the story of the Echo Gallery 

Visit any time to see the fools who sold themselves to slavery 



How to be a Happy Statue 

Five easy tips in our next issue 

You might have thought all hope was lost 

But now the chance is here - and for a reasonable cost