In life one has to face a huge assortment

 Of nauseating fads and good advice

 There's health and fitness, diet and deportment

 And other pointless forms of sacrifice

 

 Conversation, wit, I am a doubter

 Manners, charm, they're no way to impress

 So forget the inner me, observe the outer

 I am what I wear and how I dress

 

 

 Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere

 Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere

 Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh

 Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere

 Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere

 Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh

 

 

 Now I believe in looking like my time on earth is cooking

 Whether polka-dotted stripes or even checks

 With some glamour guaranteeing every fiber of my being

 Is displayed to quite remarkable effects

 From your cradle via trousseau to your death bed you're on view so

 Never compromise accept no substitute

 I would rather wear a barrel than conservative apparel

 A dress has always been my strongest suit

 

 

 Staying in or hitting townwards, from the top and working downwards

 I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time

 Whether wig or hat or turban, whether clad boudoir or urban

 Not to strut your stuff outrageously's a crime

 And the few who are invited to my wardrobe are delighted

 As they wander through my things to find en route

 That in negligee or formal I am anything but normal

 A dress has always been my strongest suit

 

 

 Now you don't need a recital of the reasons why its vital

 That tonight I simply have to look my best

 That from coronet to sandal no one else is worth a candle

 That I couldn't make more impact if I'm dressed

 So bring me out my finest, most audacious, my divinest

 Most revealing, most expensive and to boot

 Most arresting, most heart-stopping, most free-flowing, most eye-popping

 A dress has always been my strongest suit